I've been practicing Family Law since 2012 and I've learned that most people think prenups are blueprints for getting divorced—but they're wrong. It's proof that their relationship was strong enough to work through a tough conversation and still want to be married.

Prenup Couples Are Happier

The magic of a prenup isn't the signed paper you stick in a safe. It's the excruciating process of getting there. It's a relationship stress test. It forces you and your partner to sit down and get "financially naked" and discuss the business loan you're too embarrassed to mention or how much you've spent on various investments.

Financial disagreements are a top predictor of divorce, but most couples avoid talking about money until it explodes into a fight. A prenup makes you have those talks now, in a calm, structured way.

Couples who can get through this are going to have better levels of communication. It actually reduces anxiety. Knowing there's a plan in place for the worst-case scenario frees you up to focus on the good stuff.

Dumb Prenup Myths

Myth 1: Prenups are for billionaires.

This is the biggest lie. The truth is, prenups are for anyone with student debt, a side hustle, or a rescue dog they'd fight over. Many family law attorneys report an increase in millennials asking for prenups. They marry later, have their own careers, and maybe a mountain of student loans they don't want to saddle their partner with.

Myth 2: Asking for a prenup means you don't trust your partner.

Wrong. It means you trust your relationship enough to have the hardest conversation now, when you're a team, instead of later with expensive lawyers yelling at each other over a video call. It's no more a plan for divorce than a will is a plan to die.

Myth 3: It's unfair and only protects the rich one.

A one-sided prenup is an unenforceable prenup. In New York, a court can set aside an agreement if it is found to be "unconscionable," meaning it is grossly unfair and one-sided, or if it was signed under duress. A good prenup protects both people.

NY State Has a "Default Prenup"

The State of New York has a "default prenup" for you in its domestic relations laws. If you get divorced without a prenup, a judge will divide your assets according to the principle of "equitable distribution." This doesn't always mean a 50/50 split. The court will consider various factors, and the outcome may not align with what you and your spouse would have wanted.

Take Control

A formal prenup is your chance to take control. It moves the power out of the hands of some judge and puts it in yours. You and your partner get to write your own rules, tailored to your actual lives.

What Prenups Can and Can't Do

It CAN:

  • Define what's yours, mine, and ours: It can clearly state that the condo you owned before the marriage, your 401(k), or your family heirlooms remain your "separate property."
  • Handle debt: A prenup can make it crystal clear that your partner's student loans are their problem, and your credit card debt is yours.
  • Decide on spousal support (alimony): You can agree on an amount, a duration, or even waive it completely.
  • Protect your business: If you're an entrepreneur, a prenup can shield your business from being torn apart in a divorce.
  • Protect inheritances: It can add a layer of protection to make sure family money stays in the family.

It CANNOT:

  • Decide child custody or child support: A court in New York will always decide custody and support based on the "best interests of the child" at the time of the divorce.
  • Dictate personal stuff: Clauses about who takes out the trash, what religion your kids will be, or household decisions. This is a financial document, not a lifestyle contract.

Modern Prenup Clauses

The "Social Media Clause"

You can put in a clause that says your ex can't post humiliating photos, videos, or information about you online if you break up. You can even set a price for damages if they violate it.

Digital and Intellectual Property

In a world of crypto, NFTs, and side hustles, a prenup can define who owns the digital assets. For creatives and influencers, it can protect your personal brand and intellectual property from being split up.